dismembering a dinosaur

** please note that barney, nor dino, nor any other actual dinosaur, was injured **
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this is what goes to end of the driveway to be taken away to a land far, far away...after one has spent 30 minutes deciding upon:

1) a method of dismembering

2) cleaning up the 1,467,899 shards of glass

3) killing one trespassing spider

sorry i did not take a "before" photo...but really? you do not need to see that ugliness. it was not pretty. functional? yes. pretty? no.

the above pile of crap began it's day as a relic of an entertainment center. my husband's dinosaur. it really is basically obsolete with the gaggle of awesomely huge flat screen, plasma, hd tv's that everyone has. everyone but us. but the dinosaur entertainment had to go somewhere. other than our basement. i was so over it. and ready for it to be...elsewhere! but, it was too big for me to haul it to goodwill in my car. and hand-me-ups wouldn't take another entertainment center. so....i began with the usual tools:

thinking that i'd drag the beast into the driveway and 'politely' undo screws and nails and other annoying hardware to take it apart. my drill's battery was dead. and when i did get it all plugged-in and charged enough to use...i did not have a small enough drill bit for the dumb little screws. so, i removed the glass door first. then promptly dropped in on the cement. hence the # 2 above. (in a few days when i am lamenting and bitching about a trip to the e.r. for one of us to have glass shards removed from a foot, or there is a flat tire on one of our vehicles...yep, we'll all remember that coordinated move on my part, huh?!) so....this became my tool of destruction, err i mean choice:

and oh she worked well! it is amazing what 5 minutes with this hammer can do to a laminate covered particle board dinosaur...dismembered. some screws popped out and some chunks of particle board flew and cobwebs floated away and it was loud. my warrior cries and the pounding. then a spider trespassed. and do not ever underestimate the "splat factor" of a small spider. gross. and not cool gross. just gross. i was already yelling, so my necessary "killing-a-spider-yelp" was not overly noted by any neighbors. I even saved 2 of the smaller doors to re-use (see below). i will spray paint then adhere some uppercase living vinyl to them...and whaa-laa - new home decor on the cheap!

this exercise was invigorating. exhilarating. and perfect for a tuesday morning. a couple more hours of garage purging and re-org...and husband can park in there again. oh happy day.

when i decided upon the "hammer mode" i almost went and got one of our ghetto-blasters, found some rap music, and went all gangsta on the dinosaur (ala "office space"). then i remembered that we are probably not moving in the real near future and that just might be a bit much for the neighborhood. if you are unsure as to what i am referencing...please click here. (warning: probably not suitable for ears under the age of 17...maybe not even under 25...but it is still comical muted.)

if you tell a husband a story...

he will act like he is listening, but might actually hear what you are telling him.

"so, when i was in college there was a girl on my dorm floor, who was a midget, and not just a really, really short person, but a midget. anyways, she taped r.e.m.'s 'shiny, happy people' over & over & over & over & over & over again and then played that tape over & over & over & over & over & over again. i hate r.e.m. except their 'it's the end of the world' song'...oh! and the 'orange crush' song..." was my story. and it is a true story. seriously.

so...if you tell a husband a story, and you think he was not listening, then every time "sesame street" comes you will swear that husband has given extra $$ to netv or iptv to have the episode that r.e.m. is on and they sing "furry, happy, monsters" to the tune of their "shiny, happy people". and he will laugh. outloud. really loudly. and you will continue to h-a-t-e r.e.m. ("oh don't be sad...you can be glad...")

so...if you tell a husband a story, and you think he was not listening, and he knows that the r.e.m. guest spot on "sesame street" annoys you...and then you give him an ipod, and then you accidentally delete all of the music on his computer, and then he has to use the ipod to download as much of our music as possible back on to his computer, and that basically clears all music from the ipod, and so he has to re-download the music to the ipod AND re-do all his playlists...

...he will probably make a playlist just for you. that will not only include songs you really do like. and enjoy listening to. but it will also include songs that he knows, i mean really knows, you really, really dislike. and then he will tell you that he is sorry and "wanted to add more r.e.m. but i just had the one album...". just because he can. just because he thinks it was in "the vows"...

i still hate r.e.m.

only we don't use the word "hate in our home.

so i just really, really dislike them.

from pike to eel...

swimming lessons, day one: two adorable "pikes"

swimming lessons, last day: two equally adorable "eels"

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...oR....jUsT wAiT until the "HealthWise" comes with your Omaha World Herald paper in July.

buh-bye diapers!

ahhhhh, the pure joy of success!

yes, that's right...linnea is fully potty-trained! no more diapers, except at nap and bed time. no more "accidents" that i have had to decipher if it was her or the dog. not fun. really not fun to blame the wrong one. so...she is a fancy-pants big girl, doing little dances in her underpant-es. and she is no longer "little sister". it is "bigger sister" (wren) and "big sister" (linnea).

what, you ask was "the thing" that did it? getting grounded from "horton hears a who" at grandma's. yep that's it. the girls have a dvd/tv in the room they sleep in at g&g's. and grams got them that dvd. and they l-u-v it. have to watch it before going to sleep - nap and bed time - regardless of what time they go to bed. they quote it. they simply adore it. linnea even named her camel stuffy/pillow from g&g "horton".

so, when she stood up during lunch one day and just peed all over and then in her innocent, sweet voice says, "that's okay...accidents happen" i decided that was it. so no horton. her sister got to go watch horton. linnea had to nap in gram's room. with me in there on the computer.

then she had to not pee on the floor or in her diaper while she was awake or no horton at bedtime.

it took some time.

and an aunt's company in the bathroom.

and a few glasses of momma-good-water.

and some juice.

and some lemonade.

but oh the J-O-Y of success!

so...she is all about doing her "business" and having a bit of "pivacy"...and then telling (and by telling i mean YELLING) anyone within hearing range that she just tinkled. or poopadoopa'd. (and that usually includes the number of poopadoopa's there are and do you want to see them...)

now i just need to decide what to do with all the $ we have from not having to buy diapers. new carpeting/flooring? ahhhhhh, joy for us all!

dear backyard & garden:

i want to apologize for non-attentiveness this spring. and warn you in advance, it will not improve as summer looms. i have not taken the time to care for you as i should. i wait too long between mowings. thus causing myself to have to bag all the clippings. and well, our 8+ year old mower just can't do the job of a windrower no matter how i try to make it. and those clippings? those get dumped on top of you, garden. which usually has some tomatoes, peppers, onions, carrots, cukes and sometimes volunteer potatoes. this year? volunteer thistles, nightshade, leftover (read = dead!) tomato plants, creeping ginny (not sure that is it's correct name...but i am sure that "rampant stupid vine" is not...) and a host of creepy-crawlers. oh, and please try not to be jealous of the rhubarb. in it's defense, it's been called a weed by many...but it really does make some kick-a** pie and bread. Oh, and those tomato plants in the containers on the deck? yeah, i still want my fresh, home-grown tomatoes for BLT's. i was just too busy (err l-a-z-y?) to till the garden and put 'em there. so, dear backyard...you will continue to be too tall. then you will be various lengths due to my inability to mow you well. and garden? well...perhaps next year will be your year!

sincerely,

your owner

me, myself & IKEA!

i was given 30 minutes to go to ikea while we were in minneapolis. thirty minutes? what the? who can possibly cover the entire store in 30 minutes? well....i did. almost. we were there for not quite an hour. and i did not even check out the daycare (our offspring were happily traveling back to the farm with grams & gramps) or the restaurant or the "as is" warehouse. seriously! this place was h-u-g-e!

not only did i stay within my "time limit" (somewhat) but i even stayed within my budget! whoo-freakin'-whoooo!

and here are my lil treasures that came to nebraska with me:

http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/50107678

http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/00130148

http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/20107793

http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/10149350

http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/47476300

http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/70115578 (2 of these...one for each of the girls to have in their rooms...in pink...what they have now named "buddy homes"...)

http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/10096907 (shouldda got 2 sets - wouldda saved the fights over "i get the pink one", "no i get the pink one this time"....sigh.....)

http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/10151828 (matches nothing in our bedroom...but it was just too stinkin' cute!)

okay...i got a few other things but that should give you an idea of my "retail therapy". ahhhhhhh.

nea day!

what she loves:

skippyjon jones (and all her other books)

snow white, princess beauty & ariel

doggies & kitties

coloring

running, jumping & hopping

riding her bike

swimming

being at g&g's farm

laughing, singing & dancing

her pets: belle (the dog) & puddy mcfluffkins (the cat)

her sister

her daddy

her momma

happy 3rd birthday to our lil linnea!

in the weeds...

you see a pseudo-abandoned home lot that is overwrought with weeds (some might even be noxious!) and thistles and in desperate need of attention.

i see a beautiful green background and behemoth dandelions that could be perfect for 2 lil honeys to hang amongst while the momma takes some photos.

and, without further adieu...the results of some time spent in the weeds:

TUTU much fun?

TUTU much fun?

What's that mean?

It's like TUTU much money, there's no such thing . . .

It's like a girl TUTU pretty . . .

with TUTU much class . . .

Being TUTU lucky . . .

NO matter what they say . . .

SHE ain't never had TUTU much fun!

festering

ever get your feelings hurt over something piddly?

get all pissed (and by "pissed" i mean "angry" or "upset", not "drunk"...in case there are any australians reading this...) off about something minor?

the proverbial "mountain outta a molehill"?

and it festers inside?

and becomes big, bigger, and even bigger?

and you get hurt-er * , or pissed-er * ?

yep, that's where i am today.

and i know that i just need to "pull up my big girl panties" and be an adult.

or, "acknowledge & move on".

or, "build a bridge & get over it".

(* even making up words ain't helping...)

and i thought tippity-typing about it, in obvious & intentional general terms, would help.

nope.

still pissed.

still festering.

hollywood fashion show invite!

if you are a reader of my blog and personally know me...you know that i am not a "fashionista". if you have never seen me in real life: i am lucky most days to just make it outta the house with matching shoes and all the "non-public" body parts covered! even years of watching "what not to wear" has not helped me.


so....when i was invited to a "hollywood fashion show", i thought maybe i could learn a trick or two. then, when i found out that i got to blend in and rub elbows with some high-end photogs (aka the paparazzi!), i was almost nervous. but i thought i could handle it. and handle it i did! here are some of my favorite shots of a very new, up-n-coming model.


"to get this look": any type of princess pajamas; add a cloth napkin tied at around the waist; accessorize with a coordinating ballcap (precariously propped slightly to the side...) and finish with coordinating sunglasses. preferably all done monocromatically, and the wiast-sash being a contrasting color. pink and brown are caliente this season!

after a quick outfit change, she then came out to do her runway show! gorgeous!

although i was thinking that she was showing a bit too much "tooshie" and was hoping her mother wasn't at the show! for goodness sakes i am certain she would have gone right up on the runway and repositioned that!

another runway shot! stunning moves!
and then, she was done. no more cameras. no more pictures.

* yes, the model did herself dubbed this photo shoot a "hollywood fashion show"...not to be confused with her "dancing shows", or "singer shows", or "puppet shows", or "buddy shows", okay?!?!?!

wild olive tees!

so, you must go to this site b/c they are having a fabu giveaway...seriously!

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check out the button to the left....click and go ahead and shop!

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i have entered and am hoping to be sportin' one (or three...) of their wonderful t-shirts...of course, even if i do not win....i am fairly certain that one of these is a "must have" in my near future!