Sunday, April 26, 2009


the last two sundays i have spent at confirmation services. watching numerous young people confirm their faith in front of a church full of people. i have watched their chosen scriptures and statements about their faith be shown on large screens. and the sermons were delivered directly to them...the young christians...and the resounding "theme"? continuing your walk...continuing your faith. confirmation is not necessarily a beginning...since these your people have probably spent their elementary days in sunday school, and no doubt have spent the past few months getting into the bible. getting to know Jesus. and God. and gaining some insight into their own faith and christianity. and it certainly is not an end. this should not be the last church service they attend. nor the last day they open up the bible. and yet, when those words were spoken today by our senior pastor i could not help but go back to my own confirmation over 20 years ago. well, actually, to just one conversation that i had with the pastor at the time.
my mom had cancer. she had to travel over 50 miles, one way, for her chemo treatments. one week i told our pastor that i wanted to go with mom to her treatment and would not be able to attend confirmation class. his response? if i chose to go with her to her chemo appointment, i would not be allowed to be confirmed. for missing one class, to go with my mom to her cancer treatment, i would not be confirmed. i made what i thought to be the right decision at the time. i was confirmed.
i was faced with another decision later that year. i was a sophomore and was rumored to be a starter on the high school basketball team. our coach had made it clear that attending practice and working hard at each practice was what was required. especially if you were in the running to be a starter. i had lettered my freshman year. be a starter was a huge deal. so, instead of going to the airport with my family to see my mom and dad off to mexico, i went to basketball practice. i made what i thought to be the right decision at the time. i started the next game.
in hindsight, what i did not know would have changed both of those decisions. i did not know that my mom was dying of cancer. not living with. being treated for. but dying. my dad returned from mexico 2 days after christmas with my mom in a casket. she died 5 days before christmas. after her funeral, my church attendance became rare. that lasted for years. literally years. although i did not stop believing, or give up my spirituality...i gave up church. until about 7 years ago.
it feels good to be confirming my faith again.

1 comment:

  1. Oh Jodi,I am so sorry. I love you, honey. I can not imagine how awful that must have been. How awful it still is. I am really glad to have you as my family though...even if it is relation by church. I know your Mom is so proud of you!